Undecided

Today, my dad told my younger brother and I to know and remember this: everyone has a little bit of prejudice in them. 

Maybe out of naivete or sheer belief, my brother disagreed, citing himself as an example. Me? Not so much. It sounds simple enough to pick one side or the other, but is it truly? The idea, or rather the concept, is something that I can't seem to fit my head around. At least not right now.

So I just wanted to write it down. Let it marinate. And maybe tomorrow, or another day I'll be able to assign words to my thoughts...come back to it later. 

You as my witness... that's what I shall do.  

(Sort of) An Internal Battle

Maybe its just me, but it takes a lot for me to actually go out and BUY an album. Its not that I don't want to support artists, its just that I don't really have a real job, thus I hate paying dollars and cents for something I know I can own for $free.99 

Sidenote: I actually got into a rather heated discussion with a Mr. Chad Hermann of Post-Gazette blog "fame," about this topic. According to him, as an English Writing major - someone who wishes to one day be paid for her artistic endeavors - I should be willing to support others who are attempting to do the same. Anything else would be hypocritical. And I suppose that is understandable - Sir. But he, with a full time job, and salary, hails from quite I different circumstance than myself. Living off of a refund check is hard to do, and if I have to choose between lunch and a new cd - why not choose both?  If at all possible, I try to skip the illegality of downloading music by getting from my roommate, a friend, or coping it from the radio station I DJ for. But its not always so easy, especially when I am home, just me, myself, and I with no roommate or radio station within reach. 

So every time I anticipate a new release, I fight with this internal battle: to buy or not to buy?Its harder than it might appear - trust me. 

But I've developed a system - criterion if you will:

The album must A.) Be by a worthy, and trusted artist - one who has proven his or herself thus far (Except for Kanye - I drew the line at Graduation boo). B.) Be a car classic - something that I can, will, and want to bump en route, whether it be to the grocery store, the mall, or the club C.) Not be more than $12.99 - these stores charging $18.99 for a CD are all clearly out of the loop. 

I shoot for all 3, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Last ones that passed the test: T-Pain - Thr33 Ringz (although it shouldn't have) and Q-Tip the Renaissance (buy it if  youhaven't already. I love it.)

Sometimes I just need new music in my life, and Kid Cudi, Maxwell "Pretty Wings", and Gym Class Heroes were only sustaining me for so long... 

This being said... my latest investment: Chrisette Michelle's sophomore album. She's def dope. And def worth a listen.

Currently feeling tracks 1, 5, 7, 9, 12.

"From the rising of the moon, to the setting of the sun..."

Summer Reading

Since I have nothing better to do, I've compiled a rather long summer reading list:

• Sula by Toni Morrison
  
• The White Album by Joan Didion
  
• Temple of My Familiar by Alice Walker
  
• On the Road by Jack Kerouac
  
• On Beauty by Zadie Smith
  
• Up From Slavery by Booker T. Washington
  
• Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat
  
• Naked by David Sedaris
  
• Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin
  
• Maybe a lil August Wilson cuz my roommate put me on :)

Some are old - which I've been wanting to read for a while, others are new - writers who I feel like I need in my life. During school, I'm always complaining that I never have time to read what I want to read. Thankfully, this year, I had a rather dope Nonfiction teacher who opened my eyes to a Jive Talker, a Corpse Walker, Che in the flesh, a girl named Bobo, and a city formerly known as Persepolis.

And for the first time in my college career, I actually read all of them. And, for the most part I enjoyed it. So why not continue the trend? 

Btw... 16 days.

"Guarded secrets inside of my head... precious gems entrusted to me. Those words struggling to be free..."

Patience is virtue, so they say

I'm sitting here... writing this... on my phone... In Buffalo, when I should be back home. I was supposed to be back by 2:30 mind you... But somehow I find myself still sitting here in this dorm. Waiting. On Negroes. And my patience is wearing thin. Actually, my patience was thin to begin with. Is that a bad characteristic?

Its probably not the most flattering...

I just can't stand having to wait on other people - for extended periods of time with no explanation.

But instead of getting even more irritated, I'm gonna take this time for a little self-reflection. What's the rush? That's what I keep asking myself...

Life shouldn't be rushed.

"Don't you know that, patience is a virtue? (Yes it is) And life is a waiting game. Don't you know that, peace must be nurtured?"

Denial. My fairy tales (can be true if you just believe)

So... tomorrow is my little brother's first prom :) And when I mistakenly referred to his date as exactly that - a "date." He shot me down, and demoted her title to merely that of "a prom go-with-er."

Rude.

I then asked for a second opinion.. and he laughed and somewhat agreed.

If this is some kind of macho-movement, I might have to incite a counter-revolution. 

What is it with dudes that makes the idea of a "date," or anything remotely romantic or affectionate that makes them uncomfortable? Correction: what is it about calling those things what they are that makes them uncomfortable? 

If my bf were reading this, he would probably tell me that I need to see both sides of the story... that labelling (or not labelling) something does not take from its meaning or value. That "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." And while this may be true, I feel like we should be able to acknowledge the events and people in our lives. Sometimes that acknowledgement means attempting to describe to the world what they mean to us through the only way we (or at least I) know how - through words - not to gain the worlds approval, but instead to self-articulate. 

"No matter what I say its nothing but words. Just trying to prove to you what I know is real. Let me express to you the way that I feel."